I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
