so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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