Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
