Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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