I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
