yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
