I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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