At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
