One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize