youre lurking in front of me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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