id be glad to
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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