They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
