I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
