I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
