dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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