OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
