apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Everclear isn't food dammit
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
