We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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