I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
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