normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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