did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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