found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
