You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
