They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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