And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize