the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
