Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Randomize
