summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
