Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
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Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
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we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?