Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant