someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.