Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.