2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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