I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
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I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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