I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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