when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize