I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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