The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
