Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Duck Duck Cougar?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize