Can Purell be used as lube?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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