just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
