I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
