The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
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My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
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Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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