imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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