I heard we made out
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
