Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Fuck appropriateness.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
