Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
