But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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