Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
