my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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