Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize