I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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