I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
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