Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.

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(903): View more from Texas

u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?

(214): View more from Texas

Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?

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(757): View more from Virginia

I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.

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(773): View more from Illinois

the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(604): View more from British Columbia

After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.

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(573): View more from Missouri

I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.

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(813): View more from Florida

We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.

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(708): View more from Illinois

There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.

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