Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads

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  (504): so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads http://tfl.nu/yn7g
  Replies (24) Good night (678) Bad night (7111)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...

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  (304): apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training... http://tfl.nu/a5eu
  Replies (36) Good night (4224) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.

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  (386): totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen. http://tfl.nu/yxbj
  Replies (43) Good night (2908) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.

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  (248): New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people. http://tfl.nu/cghq
  Replies (126) Good night (17266) Bad night (2275)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that

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  (217): You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that http://tfl.nu/ym20
  Replies (53) Good night (1404) Bad night (2996)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking

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  (321): Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking http://tfl.nu/fefy
  Replies (39) Good night (7591) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.

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  (360): He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured. http://tfl.nu/js6x
  Replies (63) Good night (5679) Bad night (1050)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.

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  (760): She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle. http://tfl.nu/ihsx
  Replies (4) Good night (2723) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.

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  (416): He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner. http://tfl.nu/hs5r
  Replies (2) Good night (2184) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.

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  (423): All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited. http://tfl.nu/itw0
  Replies (8) Good night (3027) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.

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  (773): Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets. http://tfl.nu/4kdw
  Replies (11) Good night (839) Bad night (2937)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.

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  (641): This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game. http://tfl.nu/44fx
  Replies (13) Good night (1618) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?

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  (303): I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies (1-303): You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you? http://tfl.nu/cczo
  Replies (5) Good night (1482) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.

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  (609): I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room. http://tfl.nu/he9i
  Replies (8) Good night (675) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests

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  (310): Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests http://tfl.nu/hq9w
  Replies (0) Good night (685) Bad night (409)

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