the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize