you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
