all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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