who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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