I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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