Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you would pick up someone in the library
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
